2011 thoughts
If you had told me where I would now be one year ago today, I probably would have thrown a fit. But the past 4-5 months have been the most rich and thirst-quenching months of my life. Hah. I changchang praise the Lord for His intervening and providence – for His closing doors and sending me to a place I never thought would so quickly capture my heart.
Now once again I struggle with future plans. I feel like I’m so far from discerning God’s will, swaying from one possibility to another. While I say that I desire what God desires, my personal agendas and selfish tendencies creep in and taint my heart from truly being after Him. But as I wait on making a decision, all I need to be doing is love Him whole-heartedly, seek Him fervently and serve Him faithfully, and when the decision-making time comes, I know He will answer for me. Just like He did months ago.
Hudson Taylor writes, “If in the time and with the expense required to make me MD, MRCS or both, I am instrumental in leading any poor Chinese to the feet of Jesus – how much better would that appear in eternal ages!” Hudson Taylor was only a few months out of years from receiving his doctoral and pastoral degrees and yet that’s his response to God calling him to China. I’m no Hudson Taylor but how I wish to have eternal perspective like that of his! I pray that however inconvenient or unexpected God’s call is, I would respond in utter obedience. It would be so foolish to resist and delay when He has proved His faithfulness to me over and over again. He is GOD and WORTHY of following. I dare not say otherwise. Besides, God knows best. He loves me and anything He asks of me is what is best. It stinkers how often I need to remind my forgetful heart of this truth :/
Where Hudson Taylor seems radical, Jesus is more. He says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:25-27 It’s neither a light nor easy matter…this following Jesus thing. But He is more than worthy of, yes, even giving up my own life to follow Him. Oh, how He is worthy!
